| ...we were fools all the while... |
[27 Sep 2004|01:47pm] |
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mood |
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 drained |
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i hate this journal, so i have a new one......ill_be_waiting_ go there from now on.....or you can act like i'm not alive...cuz i'll be getting that alot from now on. -me- "EVERYTHING FALLS APART"
"here i am now as broken as the day you met me"
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| ...there is sorrow in truth... |
[26 Sep 2004|10:07am] |
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mood |
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 depressed |
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i was hoping that when i woke up this was all just some sick nightmare.....and i still had one of my best friends in my life.....but things just dont work out that way it seems....at least not for me.
i hate this..
i'll miss you...
mike, i'm not going anywhere <3....
..."i pray you find the peace you have been longing for" ...
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[24 Sep 2004|08:32pm] |
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arg...i wish i was in arizona, lombard and spawn....what else could a person ask for??...
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[21 Sep 2004|04:14pm] |
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...and i miss you love...
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| ...this distance... |
[20 Sep 2004|10:19pm] |
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mood |
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tired |
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music |
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misfits-bullet |
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well, this past week has been so fucking completely insane...i don't even know where to start. for the past while, i've been thinking about things with lombard alot....about how i made the wrong decision forever ago, and how i wanted to fix things, so tuesday after class i went over to his house, stepped on his modem, and now we're going out. and i can honestly say that i can't remember being this happy in a long time. i think for once i actually made a good decision about something....go me. he is the sweetest kid ever. he says nicer things to me then anyone ever has....and means them :) the bad thing is, he was on leave for two weeks....and he left for yuma arizona on sunday morning.....for 4 years :( that fucking sucks, and i miss him like crazy already. we spent tons of time together before he left....i kinda just ditched everything else, including sleep. sunday morning i woke up at like 4:30 so i could go with him and his family to the airport. it was so sad to see him leave. the lack of sleep is really hitting me now...i could prolly sleep for like a week straight. i wish i could just sleep till christmas...that would be awesome. thursday, me, lombard, mini lombard, their cousin jay, adam and my sister went to new haven to see throwdown, hatebreed, 100 demons, norma jean and a thousand falling skies. we missed a thousand falling skies which was disappointing cuz they're who i wanted to see most, even though i see them at fatcats quite often. throwdown did awesome, so that kinda makes up for it, lol. well, i need to do my homework that i've been putting off. -me- "everything falls apart"
"these miles of road won't divide"
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[19 Sep 2004|09:12pm] |
seek me for comfort,
call me for solice,
i'll be waiting....
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| ...damn it... |
[08 Sep 2004|05:39pm] |
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mood |
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disappointed |
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music |
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across five aprils-pawn shop promises |
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well, i went and got my hair cut today....she kinda went a little crazy and now i look like a boy. it looks nothin like the picture i showed her..not that it was the best quality picture ever. but that's besides the point. so if anyone sees me, try not to laugh too hard....i don't totally hate it, but i don't really like it either. *shrugs* at least i didn't cry, lol. although i did feel like it on the way home. oh well. i'm off....my tummy needs food.
-me- "everything falls apart"
"i starve for your flame"
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| ...a broad incision sits across the evening... |
[07 Sep 2004|11:39pm] |
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mood |
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 blah |
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i want to move away...i have nothing keeping me here. no-one.
i was never good enough.
and i never will be.
"i'm watching my friends slip away. watching them fade"
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| ...very long pointless entry... |
[05 Sep 2004|10:27pm] |
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mood |
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 silly |
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the past couple of days have sucked, i got pulled over cuz i have a headlight out and the fuckers were more interested in my stickers on my car then anything else, they were harassing me about them...i hate cops. uh, theres some shady crap going on at work and i'm just sick of it and the favoritism...things kinda blew up the other night...i think it's time to look for a new job, although i'd feel really bad leaving stacey alone with those people. after work yesterday i fell asleep for an hour prolly around 5, while i was sleeping, it poured out and of course it was the one time i left both of my windows down. i drove to work today sitting on a towel and a plastic bag...malarkey. but the good thing is.......LOMBARD IS HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! badass. me and stink saw him the past 2 days....i think him and seth are going to a strip club tonight so, fuck that shit, i'm happy hanging out here :) i'm thinking of watching some zim....it depends on how lazy i'm feeling. oh, other good news, i have the night off for the throwdown, hatebreed, and a thousand falling skies show :) we're going with lombard and mini lombard.....it's awesome, we haven't been to a show with him since the last time he was on leavce in january. throw humphrey in there and it's a cunt crew reunion haha!!!!! anyway, i have nothing interesting to write about so, i'm off -me- "everything falls apart"
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[02 Sep 2004|10:05pm] |
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lombard comes home tomorrow!!!!!!!! weeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!
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[30 Aug 2004|03:01am] |
i am a loser, i have not been kissed in about a year and a half....that is depressing.
i am gross and ugly.
you are amazing.
...i wish...
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| ...i'm fat... |
[29 Aug 2004|10:41pm] |
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mood |
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bored |
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well, i have done absolutely nothing today. i woke up at 3:30, and then i've just hung around. adam and jake wanted me to go over and watch a movie tonight at jakes house, but i really don't have the gas, and i don't feel that great, i think i'm getting sick, which sucks. i'm so glad i had the day off today, i needed it. i've worked alot this week, and then i stayed out waaaayyyy too late last night. me and stacey didn't even get out of work until 11. that sucked. work sucks. i have the day of again tomorrow, but i have so much shit to do, cash my check, pay h.c.c, not fun. well, i'm off to play video games. -me- "everything falls apart"
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| ...yay... |
[27 Aug 2004|12:08am] |
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mood |
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tired |
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well, adam came over today with armoo and they fixed my computer. it took them 4 hours and they looked really bored so i feel bad. but it was really nice. i havent been online in soooo long. it actually feels kinda weird. i bought a whole bunch of c.d.s today that i really can't afford, so i'm kinda pissed at myself at the moment, i knew i would be, lol. i do such stupid things without thinking sometimes. *shrugs* anyway, i'm kinda sick of this journal, and i REALLY hate my user name, so i'm thinking of completely making a new one. well, i'm tired and i have to open again tomorrow :( so i'm off to bed. -me- "everything falls apart"
"i'll wish on this, i'll wish with this
i wish...to the bitter end of my day"
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| ...i don't want to work today... |
[08 Jul 2004|01:42pm] |
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mood |
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 happy |
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music |
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as i lay dying- falling upon deaf ears |
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well, i'm just hanging around before i go to work, i have to leave at 6, so it's not too bad, i'm going to try to stop at bri's afterwards. i went on a date last night, me, on a date!!! haha, i think it's comical. he works in the mall and asked me out the other night, he didn't seem creepy so i said yes. so we went out to eat. he was really nice, but we don't have ANYTHING in common. not a thing. so i really don't think we'll be anything more than friends. i feel bad cuz he was really nice, so i don't know what to say to him *shrugs* i need to work on my painting, but i don't think i'll have time today. i went up to deerfield yesterday and went to the butterfly conservatory with stink, my mom, dad, and uncle matt. it was fun, i took TONS of pictures. i'm going to have shit loads of film to develop once school starts :) well, i think i'm going to go shower. -me- "everything falls apart"
"what if i could take back all those misspent days?"
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| ...soooo tired... |
[02 Jul 2004|07:20pm] |
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mood |
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happy |
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well, my computer has been broken so i haven't been able to get online, it works randomly, but not for very long, so i have to hurry before it freezes or something, i have a lot to catch up on, when we get this beast fixed i'll write a nice long entry that probably won't be too exiting, cuz they never are, lol. all i know is this 4th of july weekend was looking awesome, and now it's not. oh well, i shouldn't have expected anything more or got my hopes up. i'll explain it someother time. -me- "everything falls apart"
--damn you, you're like kryptonite--
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[17 Jun 2004|01:20am] |
i just finished watching black hawk down. it's an amazing movie, but when i think about how it was real, and the fact that i know so many people in the armed services, it fucks me up.
...God be with our soldiers...
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| ...<3<3<3<3<3... |
[16 Jun 2004|10:56pm] |
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mood |
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music |
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tiger army-annabel lee |
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lets see, i haven't written in here in a few days, i'm trying to remember what i have to catch up on. i've pretty much been workin alot and going to math class, 3 hours of math is 3 hours too many if you ask me. i brought my pictures into work cuz the assistant manager wanted to see them the other day and she loved them. so i was working with my manager last night and she said she's jealous and wants to see my pictures really bad. so i promised to bring them in for her to see on saturday. she just bought a house and she said if she likes any of them enough, she'll buy one to hang in it!!!! that will be so awesome!!!! so, saturday after work i went to chris's good-bye picnic (he's going into the army next month) i had sooo much fun, i'm so glad that i went. me, hillary, and bri went to the party his brother was throwing later on that night and i had even more fun there, even though j.d. embarrassed me horribly. he told chris's brother pat that i thought he was hot..which i do, but i didn't need him to know that. but j.d. is so awesome that i definitely wasn't mad at him for it. right after j.d. told him, pat decided he was going to walk us to the car. he gave me a hug good-bye and i stuttered and made a complete ass out of myself, lol. what else is new though??? the next day chris and j.d. visited me at work for a while, which was really cool. i have a good time with them, i'm comfortable around them and they make me laugh. its too bad that chris is leaving soon, and j.d. already went back to virginia (he's a marine) cuz me and bri would love to hang out with them more often. i talked to lombard on the phone for a while last night. he's prolly not coming home until september, but he's going to try to come home for a few days around the 4th of july. i miss him so i really hope he can. well, i can't think of anything else to catch up on so i'm going to go watch black hawk down. -me- "everything falls apart"
...just thinking about
you makes me smile...
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[13 Jun 2004|10:53pm] |
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...you are dead to me...
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